Mother's Day / Danielle (aunt)
Life goes on and time passes by But precious memories never die. No longer here, our lives to share, But in our hearts you are always there. We think of you so often, the things you did and said, You never really left us, you just went on ahead
Saw this and it reminded me of you. I really miss you Steven. I think of you every day. Love you and Miss you....Im sure you are with your Mom on this Mother's Day. Help her be strong for the girls and your Dad. Close
my son / Mom
it'll be 3 years in 17 days - can hardly believe it - i went to your grave today - i can only speak to you in whispers - iit just hurts too much sometimes - i miss you - i want what every mother hopes for her children - for you to be happy and from what our faith has taught us - you are happier than we can even imagine - you deserve that much! i pray for you alot - just that you are happy, safe and can be with us somehow - although knowing your personality - you are doing whatever it is you do in heaven and aren't even worried about us - you know what we have in store for us in heaven. i don't know - i have been kind of sadder lately and it is usually the way when one of your special days is approaching - the day of it's like, okay, i'm fine, i can live through it and focus on the girls those days. hey - can you believe the movie TMNT is coming out on 3/23! you know what we are doing that weekend - the girls and i will be the only ones in the movie theater crying through a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie, but that's okay - i just think it's an awesome coincedence! you loved them growing up as a little boy, like obsessed and i can remember right before you died pulling out the videos and watching them with your baby sister, Emily. we are going to the regional Compassionate Friends conference in King of Prussia, PA in September. I like going - being with other parents, your sisters and it's like a Stevie weekend. your father is dealing with it in his own way, as most men do, working. he misses you. he says he thinks about you often and i usually nod but to actually have a long conversation together is just too hard. well, i am closing for now - i really need to update this site.....i need to get your girls involved to help (Rina, Emily and Aunt Danielle)! Love you forever and miss you - Close
You know the more things change, the more things stay the same. How true. Changes in our life are many, we have Bella - can you believe your father getting a puupy in our house. She is a joy in all our lives and gets lots of love. I can only imagine that you would love her as much as we do. Rina is doing well for herself - she can get a mean streak in her but we know where that somes from. Emily is becoming a fine young lady. It is such a wonder how fast your children grow! I always consider myself lucky that we got to see you grow into a man. Some people lose their children much younger. Dad is nuttier than ever. All in all, he is stressed to the gills with work and a little softer in his ways, you know what I mean. It just seems so strange still - when I stop and think you are really no longer here. I do believe that I will see you again, though. I have to think that way, otherwise I would fall apart for good. My fears of losing Rina or Emily are much more intense than I ever thought. I still have all your stuff and really see no need to get rid of anything. What harm does it do sitting in the back of a closet? Let someone else throw it away when I'm gone. My prayer life has diminished slightly. Although, without it when you first died, I would have ceased to exist. It helped me beyond words. I pray often but not constently as I did. There is nothing we do that Dad and I don't mention your name or a memory or what if's. We all miss you and love you. You are still in our lives everyday, in every way. We would all give anything for one of your bear hugs now! In our hearts, in our hearts.... Until we meet again, my son....
been forever / Lil Rina (sister)
since ive seen you and heard you and smelt you almost 3 years and im holding back my tears at work you should have been sitting at the table this morning with us mama made a big vday breakfast.. very yummy and you should have been helping dad outside shoveling the snow nothings the same i miss you soooo bad
Thanksgiving 2006 / Danielle (aunt)
Well, another Thanksgiving is here. I pulled out some memories of you the other day...I don't think that the passing of time is helping my heart any. I pray for your sisters all the time. I will be wearing my button tomorrow while we are celebrating the things in our lives that we are thankful for. I know that one of the things that will be on my list is that you were a part of my life. I am also thankful that you have helped to carry your Mom and Dad and sisters through the pain. I know that you will be with all of us tomorrow. I really miss you... Close
Happy Birthday / Danielle (aunt)
Well, today is my last day here. We had a good time and now it is time for me to go home. I really missed you being here with us. I walk around the house and sometimes it feels like you are still here. I keep telling Rina how unreal it all is still 2 years later. We went to mass on you birthday and I lost it. I kept thinking that that was the last time that I saw you and it hurts so badly. I guess it always will. I wish Kristina and Tyler could have played with you and went swimming with you and the whole time we were at the ocean I was wishing that you were right there with Tyler in the water. I feel so sad knowing that they never had the chance to meet you. I feel the same way that leaving this time that I do every time. I just don't want to go. I slept in your room with Emily and Tyler and Kristina the first night and it killed me. I was laying on the floor with Tyler and I was remembering the way that you and Rina used to fight over who would sleep by me, so we would just all lay on the floor together. Then we would stay up all night and talk and laugh. I was the lucky one. I appreciate this chance to spend a little time with Emily and Rina of course. I wonder when the next time will be? I miss you and I wish you were here with us. Close
Letter to my Dearest Family / Danielle (aunt)Read >>
Letter to my Dearest Family / Danielle (aunt)
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say... but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay. I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above. Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight. Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night. That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through, God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."
It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone. As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on. I need you here badly; you're part of my plan. There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do. And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you. And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight. God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears. But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain. Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned. But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand. But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er. I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb; but together we can do it by taking one day at a time. It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too... that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain, then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain." And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile, knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low, just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go. When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind; I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
"I loved the boy with the utmost love of which my soul is capable and he is taken from me-yet in the agony of my spirit in surrendering such a treasure, I feel a thousand times richer than if I had never possessed it.
Saint Augustine quote: / Rina (Mom)
"Of necessity we must be sorrowful when those whom we love leave us in death. Although we know that they have not left us behind forever but only gone ahead of us; still when death seizes our loved ones, our loving hearts are saddened by death itself. Thus the apostle Paul does not tell us not to grieve, but rather, not to grieve like those who are without hope. Let us grieve, therefore, over the necessity of losing our loved ones in death but with the hope of being reunited with them." Saint Augustine Close
Go Rest High on That Mountain / Mom Go Rest High On That Mountain, By: Vince Gill
I know your life on earth was troubled And only you could know the pain You weren't afraid to face the devil You were no stranger to the rain
Go rest high on that mountain Son your work on earth is done Go to heaven a-shoutin' Love for the Father and the Son
Oh, how we cried the day you left us We gathered round your grave to grieve Wish I could see the angels' faces When they hear your sweet voice sing
Go rest high on that mountain Son, your work on earth is done Go to heaven a-shoutin' Love for the Father and the Son.
Go rest high on that mountain Son, your work on earth is done Go to heaven a-shoutin' Love for the Father and the Son. Close
Mothers of the Mourning After by Yolanda Moore / Rina (Mom)Read >>
Mothers of the Mourning After by Yolanda Moore / Rina (Mom)
Mothers of the Mourning After
When we met we could barely speak, paralyzed and frozen we sat. We leaned on one another and were able to stand. And slowly we learned to walk . As time passed a bond formed from the love of our children lost, a friendship forged in pain grew into love and laughter. Together we have found new ways to live and love and remember the life. Longing for a time that exists in heart's memory, together we talk of our children and smile with silent tears.
Dear friend, thank you for walking the valley with me. Thank you for sharing the love. As we climb together we can see ahead more clearly. We can see them in the distance, smiling, waiting and proud. If only we could touch them...until then we hold...one another.
2 years have gone by.... / Rina (Mom)
My dearest Stevie: Sometimes I can't describe how I feel...I miss you everyday and long to feel your hugs. If I take a minute and think of you it overwhelms me even more. I am still hoping you walk in that door and look at me, "Hi, Mom." I miss your presence, your smile, your eyes. I look at your father and sisters and I can catch a glimpse of you. My heart jumps out of my chest! For a fleeting moment, you were here. You are still very much alive in our hearts and minds. For me, it's not so much the special days that I long to feel and see you, it's the everyday things I do that bring me to you. The cooking of one of your favorite meals or desserts, setting out 4 plates and not 5, shopping for clothes - as I gaze over at the young men's department and have to pass by now - doing the wash and missing your silly boxers and huge jeans. I feel close to you as I pray, when I am doing what's right in the eyes of God. My faith has deepened because of you. Because of you, I love more, care more and appreciate more. I am certain I will see you again. My beautiful boy will hug me again. If it is God's will that I drink from this cup, I will do it with faith, with love, and I pray with grace and an open heart. I love you, son, and I pray that you are among the angels and saints.... Mom Close
I wish I was good with words / Jacque Schulgen (friend)Read >>
I wish I was good with words / Jacque Schulgen (friend)
rember how they always seemed to know
we had the forest in our eyes
but the earth was in our clothes
and they thought we'd fall
not at all
so look back on the treasured days
we were young in a world that was so tired
though it's not what we wanted before
even the saints had to crawl from the floor
summers when the money was gone you'd sing
all you're little songs
that meant every thing to me
and i'll remember you
and the things that we used to do
and the things that we used to say
i'll remember you
..this song very much reminds me of the summers spent bikeriding around the neighborhood, mcdonalds, and tire-swinging in the woods. miss you. Close
sunshine of the spotless mind / Rina Marie Lll Read >>
sunshine of the spotless mind / Rina Marie Lll
lil weird how this was the last movie we saw together.
in a way i wish i could erase the memeroy of you so my heart wouldnt hurt so much..
but then i think about it and id much rather hurt then to never remember the time we shared together. my childhood would have been shit without you.
i remember going to the movie with you.. 2 days before you died
you only went with me cause no one ese in the family wanted to see the movie.
i thought for sure you werent going to like it or really understand it
but you liked it and i was pleasntly surprised
before the movie i bought a soda and had it sitting on my left arm rest
you were sitting to the right of me
i took a sip during the movie and placed it on my right arm rest
i then quickly remembered how you slobber all over drinks and such so i didnt wanna share it with you
so i placed the drink back on my left arm rest
i let it sit there for a min and said to myself
whats the big deal a lil slobber i can wipe it off hes my brother
then i placed the soda back on my right arm rest and asked you if you wanted some
and you had some
and it didnt bother me
i remember that day so clearly like it was yesterday
and i wish it was yesterday
and i wish i could have saved you somehow
i wish CPR could have worked that morning
here it is almost 2 years later and my throat get all choked up and my heart literally hurts thinking ill never see or hear or smell or feel you ever again before i die
i treasure the conversations we have in my dreams
its like youre really sitting in my room talking to me
i always wake up feeling so happy
did you hear what tina ricca said about you
how she doesnt understand why youre gone and we should take you to the hosptial so you can wake up and be with us again
how cute is that! Close
I just wanted to let he Kop's know that they are always in our thoughts and prayers. I looked through some of my poetry books and listened to lots of songs to try and find a nice quote to put on here, but i figured my own words would be more honest : ) hope everyone is doing well!
perfectly/ Danielle Johnson (aunt)
In Loving Memory of You Quietly I'm remembering you in the silence of my heart. Each thought of you, a treasure while we are now apart. At times I'm filled with longing; Your face I'd love to see, To feel your warmth, to hear your voice, to have you here with me. But God has a plan; He created you and numbered all your days. May he hold you in His loving arms and surround me with His grace. With the hope of reunion in Heaven one day, I entrust you to His care. Cherished memories of you live on in my heart. Your life is a gift we share. Close